Drop One Hundred Sixty-Five

Psalm 37:4

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; And He shall give you the desires of thine heart” (KJV).

As I understood it then: if I delight in the Lord, He will give me my heart’s desires – health, home, family, happiness, etc.

As I understand it now: I will find my delight in the Lord when I choose to surrender and accept His will for me and obediently follow His lead.

“Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing …for the LORD will go before you and the God of Israel will be your rereward” (Isaiah 52:11a, 12b, KJV).

As I understood it then: It seems the desire of your heart is to leave your husband for a better life – here is permission to go.

As I understand it now: There are important pieces left out of the verses chosen out of context. Here is how it really reads in KJV: “Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the LORD. For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the LORD will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rereward.”

I now understand the internal desire to leave was temptation. In that time of temptation, I chose to be blind to the truth. I knew the outcome I wanted and believed the path I was on would not provide it. I felt trapped and left, taking our daughters with me. Often over the years, both my husband and I justified the decision, the action, and the brokenness. I was wrong. So very wrong and the various relationship issues that have evolved from that selfish decision are still being harvested today. I was to wait for the LORD to lead and follow His plan in His timing. Despite my foolishness, my husband and I are still together today. But the other brokenness in our family still has a long way to go. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28, NASB1995).

Father in Heaven,

Thank You for your faithfulness and provision. You are our refuge and strength. You know our needs before we do. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit and a hunger to spend time in Your Word. Fill us with your passion for the lost. Thank You for choosing to rescue us from ourselves. Help us to trust You with everything.

In the name of Jesus we pray,

AMEN